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Things I do at 4am when I can’t sleep:

  • Stare at the ceiling.  It’s white.  There are no tiles to count.
  • Think about work and all of the ways in which I have probably screwed something up or made someone angry
  • Go through YouTube for random clips of old movies.  Couldn’t find the one that the references so this will do:

  • Watch the trash truck come at 4:15am.  It makes a lot of noise for 4:15am.
  • The sunrise.  It’s much less interesting than most people say it is.
  • Think about turning on the TV and then accept the fact that there is absolutely NOTHING good on at 4am.
  • Check my e-mail.  It’s usually spam sent since I checked it before I went to bed.  It is comforting to know that if I ever have erectile dysfunction, I have many options.  Oh and that nice Prince from that African country seems very honest.  I think I’ll help him out.
  • Have a thought process that goes something like this: cancer, surgery, should I have the surgery, what’s the surgery going to be like, will I survive the surgery, cancer, I don’t want to have a catheter, will it hurt when they take the catheter out, will it hurt when they take any of the other tubes out, will I be able to swallow with the ng tube in or will I feel like there’s a tube in my throat, when will I be able to swallow pills, what if I can’t swallow pills because I have to take a lot of pills to manage everything else that is wrong with me, will the cancer come back, cancer, are these the right doctors to be doing this, what should wear to the hospital, will there be a good 3G signal so I’ll be able to check my e-mail for spam about erectile dysfunction, will I have erectile dysfunction after they take the catheter out, cancer, cancer, surgery, cancer, cancer, surgery, cancer.
  • Stare at the ceiling some more.