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Fight or Flight

I’ve had exactly one real fight in my life.  It was eighth grade and after months (perhaps years) of torment from a junior high school bully I finally decided to stand up for myself and fight back.  So when said bully came up behind me and hit me in the back, as he...

Say Anything

I talked to a friend of mine earlier tonight for the first time in a couple of weeks.  I thought it was a little weird that we hadn’t spoken much but I am more than a little bit self-involved these days so it wasn’t more than a passing thought every now and then.  But...

Cancer Bingo

About a week until the scheduled surgery and now less than a week for me to proverbially shit or get off the proverbial pot, proverbially speaking.  I will need to make my decision by no later than Tuesday evening because that is when I will have my last meal.  It’s...

A Serious Error in Judgment

Throughout my life I have always tried to balance the two sides of my intellectual nature, which can best be summed as follows: Side 1: Knowledge equals power Side 2: The dumber you are, the happier you are This usually manifests itself in a voracious consumption of...

Those Who Are Tardy Do Not Get Fruit Cup

Things I do at 4am when I can’t sleep: Stare at the ceiling.  It’s white.  There are no tiles to count. Think about work and all of the ways in which I have probably screwed something up or made someone angry Go through YouTube for random clips of old...

Cancer Porn

No, I’m not just sitting around waiting for Armageddon – there are still lots of things to do between now and the surgery.  The main thing is to obsessively, endlessly troll the Internet reading every last word ever written about esophageal cancer, staging, treatment,...